How to Emotion as an Adult of Childhood Trauma

How to ‘Emotion’ as an Adult of Childhood Trauma

When we experience trauma, especially in childhood, how our caregivers support us through our emotions and the healthy expression of them (or not) creates a lasting imprint on us long past the traumatic event, and could even last a lifetime. If we heard ‘get over it’ or ‘go to your room’ or ‘knock it off’ when feeling big emotions, or if we only felt accepted when we were ‘well behaved’ then it is very likely that even now, emotions may be difficult to feel and express.

We needed our caregivers for survival when we were children, as part of our coping mechanism to remain safe it would be very common for the child’s brain to assume that showing emotion was ‘bad’ and that being ‘good’ meant always smiling or being happy, regardless of what we were truly feeling. We learn to numb and disconnect from how emotion feels in our bodies and mask our needs.

Understanding emotions can be a daunting task for those on the healing journey from childhood trauma. When trauma disrupts emotional development, feelings may seem unfamiliar, overwhelming, or even unwelcome. Yet, emotions hold profound wisdom — guiding us toward growth, connection, and self-awareness. Approaching emotions from a somatic perspective offers a gateway to reconnecting with the body, fostering emotional expression in a safe and healthy way.

What Are Emotions, Somatically Speaking?

Somatic healing recognizes emotions as physical sensations within the body. Rather than being abstract concepts, emotions manifest tangibly — a heaviness in the chest may be signalling sadness, excess energy and heat in the body may be anger, or butterflies in the stomach may be denoting excitement or anxiety. For trauma survivors, identifying emotions can begin with noticing these bodily cues. Emotions are not “good” or “bad”; they are natural responses offering us information. This reframing fosters curiosity rather than judgment.

Relearning Emotional Awareness: The First Step

The healing process begins with awareness. Start small: pause throughout the day to check in with the body. Scan for tension, discomfort, or sensations — however subtle — and inquire gently, “What emotion might I be experiencing to feel this way?” Journaling these observations helps draw connections between feelings and their bodily expressions.

For those initially disconnected from emotions, somatic exercises like deep breathing or grounding can reawaken awareness. Slowly inhaling and exhaling, noticing the rise and fall of your chest, builds attunement to physical and emotional states.

Expressing Emotions: Releasing What’s Within

Childhood trauma often stifles emotional expression, replacing safety with fear or shame around feelings or needs. Awareness practices can encourage safe exploration and reconnection to the body. Movement — whether through dance, yoga, or simple stretches — is a powerful tool. By moving the body, and bringing ease into areas of tension, we can regulate the nervous system and shift our state of being.

Voice and sound are equally important. Humming, sighing, screaming, growling or any other way of vocalizing that feels right allows trapped emotions to emerge. This process may initially feel unfamiliar or vulnerable, but it can be very empowering to find our voice and express it.

It’s important to remember that feeling and expressing emotions isn’t about “fixing” them — it’s about allowing ourselves the time to explore and feel them, even when they are uncomfortable. The feeling can’t hurt us. The more comfortable we can be in bringing curiosity to what is being felt, the more empowered we become. When emotions surface, acknowledge them, notice where in the body it is felt and how it is felt, and offer compassion: “It’s okay to feel this. I can feel uncomfortable and still be ok. I am safe.”

Cultivating Emotional Regulation and Resilience

To journey through emotions without feeling overwhelmed, body-based regulation techniques are essential. For example, grounding exercises can help to anchor us in the present. Try pressing your feet firmly into the floor, focusing on the sensations — coolness, texture, stability. This simple act reminds your nervous system that it is safe.

Similarly, rhythmic practices like tapping or soothing touch quieten heightened states. Gently tapping your arms or chest, or hugging yourself, sends signals of comfort.

As regulation becomes familiar, resilience grows. Instead of avoiding emotions, we learn to navigate them — even the difficult ones — with a sense of self-empowerment. We are in control.

The Body Remembers: Healing Through Connection

A curious and compassionate body-based approach to emotions honours the body’s role as an ally in healing. Trauma may have left us with a distorted perception of emotions and our safety in expressing them when we were children, but the body is resilient and capable of rediscovering safety and joy at any age. Healing isn’t linear, and your journey is your own. Celebrate each step — no matter how small — as you relearn to listen, feel, and express.

Each feeling is a doorway to understanding yourself more deeply. Allow the body to guide you, and trust the process — it knows the way home, and you are worth it!